A Story a Staple

I was walking to work one day and was waiting at one of the many crosswalks I stand at on a daily basis.
I casually put my hand on the pole and felt a plethora of bumps under my hand.

Naturally, I jumped back about two feet thinking an army of bugs was coming to get me.
I looked around to make sure no one saw.

At second glance, I realized they were staples.

Hundreds and hundreds of staples. 

They’re on almost every wooden pole in Nashville, but never have I looked closely at it.
Why would I?

Once I did, my gears started to turn (that’s a really silly saying, it suggests I am a machine, which I am the farthest things from).

Each one of these staples held up a flier. Maybe it was announcing a concert, a symphony, a game, or a sale. Maybe it was a lost dog, cat, or parakeet. Maybe the flier was a person looking for somewhere to live, or a person looking for someone to live with.
Every staple once held a story that someone wanted people to know about. That’s why it hung on a pole for all to see. The story isn’t still there, but the staple is. It’s the residue from the concert, lost dog, or homeless student.

I wonder how the concert did. Did the flier really help that apartment vacancy get filled? What about the restaurant opening, did they find a new server?
I’ll never know, but there is a staple to tell us there was something.

I feel like right now in my life, I haven’t even put my flier up yet, I don’t have anything so important that the whole world needs to know (ironic from the girl keeping a blog?)
My goal is to figure out what my flier would say, but I once I do hang it up, I better make it worth it while it’s there, because eventually all there will be left of it is a staple.

Hopefully, my staple has a cool story behind it.

Who is God’s Mama?

I was working at the after school program and most of the kids were intently working on a homework and coloring sheets. 
All of a sudden, I hear my name. With these kids, I hear my name too much; and if I don’t reply, no worries, they’ll say it five more times just to MAKE SURE that I didn’t miss them. Sometimes I want to ask the kids to call me another name, like Pam or Bob, just to give my name a break.
I approach the table, and first took the marker away from the six year old who had began writing his name across the table is red ink. 


He started to pout. I didn’t really care, he’d get over it in a few minutes anyways.

“Ms. Sarah, who is God’s mama?” One of the boys asked. 

My attention whipped to him, this would clearly be a little bit harder to handle than the marker on the tabletop.


“Yeah, and if someone is God’s mama then who is God’s mama’s mama?” One of the other boys asked, jumping out of his seat and into my face, making sure that I saw him.

My first reaction to all of this was amusement. Mostly because I remember at about eight years old having my mind BLOWN with the the same questions. It didn’t make sense. Everything alive comes into being because there are two parents that have a baby: people, dogs, cats, and even mosquitos (that is until you hit sophomore biology, and then asexual species just messes with everything you thought you knew about the world). 

So how on EARTH can the father of our world not have parents?

Then I thought about it. To an adult, it’s a humorous question, the thought of a mother God taking care of our God, but for our human frame of reference, it’s a completely rational question.

Kids are smart.

Religion is such an interesting topic. I don’t know if it’s where I am in life or if it’s society as a whole, but in my life, it is extremely taboo. 

Don’t talk about it with kids. 

Don’t talk about it in school. 

Don’t talk about it in work. 

Don’t talk about it with your friends.

Don’t step on anyone’s toes: religion and politics are things that should NOT be discussed.

Why? 

This child had an honest question and it sparked enough in me to write this entire post.

It’s all about how it is discussed.

One day, I hope to be as fearless as that child was to ask those questions and try to find the answers to my own.

Chai Musings

Here I am in a coffee shop, sipping on my chai tea latte. I am in a good place.

That must also mean it’s time to write again.

I admit, I’ve been slacking on these posts.

I was on a roll, then life took over.

Isn’t that always the excuse? Life took over. What does that even mean?

I’ve done some thinking (surprised?), and I’ve come to the conclusion that the phrase (the first time I typed that I totally wrote fraze. Then I snorted at myself. That was just too embarrassing not to share),  life took over is a cop out.

Sure, things can happen in ones life. Bad or good things alike can demand our attention and time. However, this is our life and we make the active choice of what we will allow to take over.
For example, this year I kept attributing my stress and competing priorities as life and that it all of these things had been thrust upon me. Everybody wanted something from me and I could never get away from it. The issue was that I was a victim of my own life.

Being the victim of anything is rarely a good thing.


That was a cop out. I can totally take control of my life.
If I wanted to give in to the demands of all of my commitments, that was my choice. If I wanted to drop everything and say screw it, that was would also be my choice.

My point is not that I have somehow miraculously figured out to live a perfect life.

If someone has that answer, please share. Because college answers just about every question, but the ones you care about most.

My point is that I have had the epiphany that I need to take control of my own life. I am not a victim of my life, and while someone may throw me a curveball every once in a while (good or bad), I have the choice of how to react to it.

 I am not a girl laying on the train tracks waiting for a collision.

Bring on the Weirdos

Today on my run (worked back up to two miles!) I passed the weirdest people.

• I passed a pregnant woman
• I passed someone with a dog
• I passed someone over the age of thirty
• I passed a little girl that was wearing a Santa hat 

It’s funny because they aren’t weird in every day world, (except for the toddler running around with a Santa hat in May) but when you go day in and day out essentially only interacting with people between the ages of 18-22, these things start to look foreign to you.
Not only that, but depending on your college’s personality you see the exact same species of 18-24 year olds.

For example:

Everything is in place. Perfect is the key word here. Who on earth sent me here?

Replace the messenger bag with a North Face backpack and then we’ve got 75% of our student body

                                                             

Sure you see a little bit of deviation, but overall, this is a pretty good representation of people on this campus.

 So can anyone blame me if, whenever I have free time (ha.), I escape this haven and find a random coffee shop, just so that I can see people like this:

These are what some call, hipsters.

It’s like going to the zoo! These people not only look different, but observing their every movement is like watching a flamingo exhibit. What are they going to do next? How do they carry anything without their Longchamp Bag?  How do live in landlocked Nashville without their boat shoes?

My friends make fun of me because I have an unhealthy obsession with hipsters.
Maybe it’s because I secretly want to be one (probably can’t pull off the attitude).
Maybe it’s because they have better music.
Maybe because they’re something different?

Clearly from the pastel pink and clean lines of this blog, I am not in any way hipster.
I think it’s because it’s crazy that we are in college where we are supposed to open our eyes to new things and explore this insanely vast and diverse world and I can pigeon hole myself to think that there is only one right way to live.
The only way to accessorize an outfit is definitely not only pearls.

The school year ending is bittersweet, but one reason I’m excited is because now my life is much more open to meeting new people of all kinds, not just my school’s species.

I want to be able to meet people who are different than me and be able to acknowledge that. I want to take the chance to ask questions and learn all that I can from everyone who crosses my path. The best part is is that I can learn from everyone I meet and emulate what I like (imitation is the highest form of flattery) and cut out what I don’t like.

So bring on the weirdos, freaks, preps, and everything in between. I want to know and learn about them all.  Who am I to judge? Everyone calls me a weirdo anyways.

When Life Hands You a Lemon…

I work at an after school program in an impoverished community. The neighboring schools are Title I status and many of the children come from situations at home that I cannot even dream of.

It is a fantastic program. Unfortunately though, as generous as our partnering facility is, we don’t have the space to fit all of those kids comfortably and we spent a lot of time trying to find somewhere for our kids to play. 

Last November an outside organization came in and built a playground for the facility we are housed out of. It was a wonderful day, and the kids now had somewhere to own and escape to. This was their place to be.

Today I received a shocking email describing the shock that our community partner experienced when she arrived at work and found that our playground had been burned.

My heart broke the moment I read the email. Who would do this? Where would our kids go? 

When I arrived at work Channel 5 news crew was at the scene and crime tape covered the grounds. The bus driver that dropped our kids off every day had told them that the playground had been burned, so the children burst through the door exploding with questions.

Can we see it? Who did it? How did it happen? Will we ever get to play on it again?

Then one little girl pulled on the sleeve of my shirt. 

“Ms. Sarah, I want to fix it. Can we help?”

At that moment, I realized why I have the job that I do. As an undergraduate, I have nowhere NEAR the expertise or qualifications to solve all of the worlds problems (who does?) I can’t even fix the community that I am in.
Let’s face it, I’m lucky when I fix the computer when it crashes.

But I do have the expertise or qualifications to help these students be inspired to make a difference for themselves, their community, and the world. At that moment, I realized that what kids need is for someone to catch those golden moments where a child knows what is right and seize it. If she sees the impact that one statement can have and did have on me, then she will make more of them, and hopefully one day follow them through with action.

It’s pretty crazy to me that so many highly educated and successful people look at communities like this and only see it as somewhere the needs their help, or people that can’t help themselves. I think it’s incredible that the very people that are up against every obstacle in the world are still asking:
 How can I help?

I can tell you, that when I feel like life is up against me, I am way more likely to say:

 “Do you see what I’m dealing with? Figure it out yourself!”

  And my hardships are definitely minor in comparison.

I guess this is one of those situations where I amazed by the people in my life, and need to take a step back to be inspired and be thankful for the blessings I have.

Cliche, but remember the saying: ‘when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade?’

Hopefully this lemon can turn into lemonade.

Maybe this is room for us to work with the students to make this a project, how can they help make this right? 

What can they do to help take ownership of the playground, the facility, and their community?

Maybe this is room for me to learn from the kids, the work, and the community I interact with every day.

Kids are amazing. It’s a shame they don’t get more credit.

Night Walks

See how scary the shadows are?

There is just something about summer that reminds me what is important.

Tonight was the first night I have enjoyed the summer air, the kind that the chill is gone, and there is just enough warmth that you are comfortable. The kind that just begs for shorts and flip flops.

My roommate and I went to this park, it was after dark and probably not a good life decision, but we wanted to swing.


I realized it was the first time in a long time that I had stopped, taken a walk, spent time with a friend and talked about anything and everything. I also realized just how important that was for my life. We didn’t talk about anything earth shattering, in fact the stupidity of our conversation probably decreased both of our IQ’s by a few points, but it was fun and satisfying.

It’s a little ironic that some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned this year has been less about academics and more about how to live life healthily.

Nonetheless, it made me excited summer is here and that I am about to spend an amazing three months with some of the most amazing people I know.

Hopefully I have a lot more night walks in my future.








By the way, I ran 1.1 miles today. I’ve got a long way to go, but it beats my .36 of a mile from the beginning!

Live Life… For Who?

Interesting fact, but my friends mom met Nicholas Sparks, and apparently he’s got a huge ego and is kind of an a**. If one of the most romantic writer of all time *opinion* is an a** in person, that makes me doubtful for the hopes of finding one of my own. And all I wanted was a Noah…

I saved this on my computer forever ago. I couldn’t even tell you where I found it, but I’d really like to know what Nicholas Sparks book this is from.

This quote has been the biggest lesson I have learned most recently. I could put this in conjunction with the idea that

  “Stop trying to make everyone happy, because it’s impossible, once one person is happy with something, there’s always someone waiting wanting the opposite.”

It’s crazy that I’ve never had such trouble with it. Then I thought about it, and right now it’s competing priorities. I was stupid enough to overcommit myself to the max this year. So time was a hot commodity, which played out in my schoolwork, jobs, extracurriculars, and also my relationships. Everything was asking for my full effort and all of my time. I had to start making choices and then couldn’t handle it when not everyone was 100% satisfied at the end.
The thing is though, making everyone 100% satisfied was impossible. There is not enough of me, there is not enough time, I don’t have enough sanity.
So is the healthy thing to make choices and just shrug when not everyone is happy?

That quote struck home because I realized that my issue is that my happiness is rooted in other people’s happiness with me. If they see me as successful and living a good life, then I must be. If I’m messing up or they’re disappointed in me, then something must be wrong with me.
The thing is though no one person sees every side of my life. No one other person will ever know if I am truly being successful and living a full life, but me.

I guess that is why the wise a**h*** advised us to live life not for other people, but for ourselves.

The struggle is finding the balance between living life for myself and being narcissistic and self centered. Can a balance be struck?

I view it as a spectrum. The goal, I guess, is to find the middle ground and be able to live for myself and still work for other people in it. I guess it’s not easy.

Those are my words of the wise for the day.

I don’t like that because I think I am far from wise.

Those are my words of the learnt for the day.

Much better.

Little Steps

Saw this on http://thingssheloves.tumblr.com/
Which I am slightly obsessed with.


And it made me think hard about the whole purpose of me starting this blog.
Obviously there are some changes that I would like to make, and this totally sets up the little steps. The little steps that will hopefully lead to a much more fuller life.

So starting today I will take the little steps.

I can tell you right now, number 12 is going to be the hardest one for me.
We’ll work on that one tomorrow.

There’s Always the Beginning

Sophomore year of college is closing, it’s insane. Last week I was graduating high school, now I’m planning my life until graduation. 


One Saturday I left the bubble and took a walk. I took a walk through a real neighborhood with flowers and cars and real people. Schoolwork, jobs, friends, and schedules somehow made me forget that there are real people in the world, and one day I’ll be one of them.

Suddenly I realized that life is fast.


So fast that this year I have realized I am 19 years old and working my life away. 
I want to stop and smell the roses. I want to live a full life.
I want romance. I want adventures. I want to be stupid.


It’s summer of 2012 and I’m in Nashville. 
Anything can happen and I don’t want to be passive and wait for life to happen.
Now’s the time. And I can’t wait.